Journal-Day 5 in hospital

DAY 5 (SUN. 09:11 Universiteit Ziekenhuis Leuven, Room 155 Bed 1)

Last night I tried to go to sleep without using my pill. I was comfortable (relatively) and unstressed, and I was tired. But my mind kept running…with completely useless things. (For example, looking at the beautiful lilly of some sort that Pam gave to me…I’m thinking, “why on Earth is my flower in a pot of green Jell-O? And why isn’t it dying? Very strange.”…I’ll spare you the rest of those thoughts. You get the point I’m sure.) I decided to stop competing with myself to heal “better than” the norm. If they give me a pill, to take the pill. And indeed I slept in a lovely way. No dreams that I remember this night.

Had breakfast with Marlijn (my roommate). Yet. Another. Orange. But I ate it like a good girl. And Marlijn goes home today. I’m quite happy for her. That competitive streak feels stupidly insulted that she gets to go home early and I do not, like I don’t get the gold star for “Fastest Healing”. However, it might be nice to have the room to myself. Last night she talked on the phone a few times. (Course, it’s ok when I do it! but when she does it it’s just slightly annoying. Humph.) Thank goodness I brought my own earplugs. Didn’t help at all, but made me feel just smart and smug enough to be satisfied anyway.

But she’s told me that her husband has informed her that they have nice fresh tomatoes in the garden, and they are instructed to put her favorite chair underneath the chestnut tree (no, the tomatoes aren’t instructed, her family is, you smartass), where she will relax during the rest of her recovery. Sounds nice. A lovely little daydream life from The Shire.

Note: I call Flanders – the Flemish part of the country – The Shire. To a foreigner Flemish people can seem to be part of a secret, sweet seeming little culture. Everything seems introverted, quiet, quaint and cute. Just like the Hobbits’ land in Lord of the Rings. Imagine how tickled I was to be told that the early little dinner I am served in the hospital is what the Flemish call “viertjes”. That’s “foursies”…just like the Hobbits have!

The incision is mostly still numb, thank goodness. But I feel a int bit more each time the nurses clean it. And I feel everything by the tubes in my side. There’s a little tingly itch that says bacteria wants to come in and the skin is anxious to close over it. Almost every movement is felt up to the wires in my skin now, though it’s often more eerie than painful. It’s hard to separate the two actually. It makes me cranky, like Chinese water torture.

–I took a nap. Didn’t realize I had fallen asleep and woke with a real start when del showed up and woke me with a kiss on the lips. The prince charming comment is far too easy…Went out on the sunny terrace and I sat in a laz-y-boy someone had dragged out there. Then aga and michel came. Then rode and jen came, bearing ben and jerry’s Cherry Garcia. It was a great time, actually. Del finally left and said privately that my friends should not visit too long. And he was right. I hadn’t noticed concertedly till then, cause we were having fun, but it’s true: Damn my friends are loy-al (or else lazy 🙂 , and stay allll day long. I finally realized I was tired and said I was “kicking [them] out”. Jen then washed me again, and plucked my brows so I feel domesticated. When dinner came she went to the cafeteria and bought some stuff so we could eat something together. And we read my friend wendy’s long letter again. We had fun tearing up at the proper parts, laughing at the proper parts, and reading certain jokes and comments out loud in the proper voices. We got into bed and we had a good long talk. Some scary stuff. Some funny. Now I’m tired…

1 Comment

Filed under breast cancer, humor, life, recovery, surgery, this time LAST year

One response to “Journal-Day 5 in hospital

  1. JHS

    Hi there: Here via Whymommy’s site. Just wanted to say hello and let you know that I linked to your site when writing about Team Whymommy, etc. Also wanted to let you know that so many folks support you and all the other brave women who are writing about their fight in order to educate and help others. The hour is late, so I will come back and read more at another time . . . for now, blessings to you and yours!

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