People are Making me Laugh (at horrible things)

(Writing with some assistance today.) One doctor says I can leave tomorrow. One nurse says “don’t get carried away with yourself.” Dr. Awesome says “if Dr. Fabulous finds out you went home too soon, he’ll come to your house and get you.” So, going home tomorrow now depends on Dr. Fabulous stopping by.

Dr. Awesome told me a story about a lady who went home too soon – 4 days after surgery. She got in her shower at home, passed out, fell down and landed on her new chest. She got thrombosis and “it turned blue and fell of the next day.” His real pain became apparent in his next comment “That was EIGHT hours of work – destroyed!”

What a terrible story. My heart aches for this unknown woman. So, of course, after he left I hurt myself with an uncontrollable burst of giggles. Not because that is an appropriate reaction. But well…c’mon. One of the people I admire most in the world just told me I shouldn’t go home because I might fall and my boob might fall off. It’s certainly not something I ever expected to hear in my life. Seriously. Try to imagine someone saying this to you with a straight face right now. Bet you can’t do it.

I’m disappointed not to go home tomorrow, but thankful they don’t shove you out the door like they seem to do in America. All day I was in a cruddy mood, even though it was quite a good day. The thought of going home tomorrow cheered me through it. I suppose that’s worth something.

The good stuff? I can already walk straighter. The bad? My muscles are SO SORE from my knees to my armpits, from walking like a 100 year old woman. It’s extremely taxing to walk in an awkward position veeery carefully all the time. Take my word for it. I wanted to complain from the moment I woke up just for the sake of it.
Other good stuff? They took out my neck IV. And two tubes. Jen came in just in time to get a thorough grossing out hold my hand through it, thank goodness. I have quite a mixed audience reading at the moment, some of whom might not appreciate the gory details. Just a warning that I will tell them later. (C’mon! I’ve got the best stories now! Of course I’m going to tell them!)

Resting time again. My dear sister has peeled and seeded grapes for me to eat. I’m going to go enjoy the upside of being here….Actually, it’s because I still get woozy quite often. I am assured this is due to 13 hours of anesthesia. It’s weird, and the only thing that makes me so amenable to staying another day (because we know what happens if people get woozy and pass out!).

A few details I’ve just remembered: The recliner was found in the jungles of eBay and so kindly delivered to my house today after all – Huge thanks to Bert and his parents for their time and effort. I did find a massager before surgery (and luckily brought it with me) It has been a real relief since I have to stay in the same position all the time. Thanks to Sanne for your help finding a chair. And to WhyMommy and the thoughtful readers of hers who have taken the time to stop by to read.



Filed under breast cancer, humor, life, reconstruction ("upgrade"!), recovery, surgery, this time THIS year

4 responses to “People are Making me Laugh (at horrible things)

  1. omg. It fell off??? After my initial gasp, I have to admit I kind of laughed too.

    That is awful though. Bless her heart.

    Glad you are getting to go home. Maybe you should stay out of the shower for awhile 🙂

  2. Seriously, it can turn black. I had the smallest of small spots that did not get any blood supply & it turned black (than the good Lord it was under a bandage so I couldn’t see it & freak out), scabbed up & the skin came off. It just became a bit of a wider scar than the rest but is fine. Can you imagine the whole thing just popping off like a bad halloween nose??? It is rather funny.

  3. Reminds me of the song I sang as a child while popping the tops off dandelion flowers. Though for the life of me, I can’t totally remember the song. Such a shame.

    I wish you continued healing and a speedy recovery.

  4. ccopeland

    Hope it’s OK I read your blog. I found you from Joel.

    So a guy translation: “Fell down landing on his balls and one squirted out.” I still cringe just thinking about a friend from college that ended up with twisted testicle.

    And yes, I laughed too. /craig looks at his feet and tries not to chuckle again.

    Grace and peace.

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