In Memorandum(s)

This is past due, for both of the people I would like to remember today, but I want to remember them all the same.

First came Andrea, over at Punk Rock Mommy. I “knew” her only through her blog. She was a fellow breast cancer blogger (having had IBC), and in fact, she found me. Andrea passed away on July 5th of this year, and I have never managed to post about it. I wanted to, but…I just couldn’t. Even though I never met her, her death was intensely saddening to me. I think about her fairly regularly, and even now, as I visit her blog to read the words of her continuously blogging husband and family, I always end up crying. Visit her blog and read her story. You will not be sorry. What beautifully open hearted people. My favorite post is perhaps “My Last Blog“, in which the wisdom and grace that positively radiated from her actually comes back to bite you from the other side. My descriptions cannot do justice. Andrea and her family share in a way that is gut-wrenchingly, beautifully generous. I wish I could have met Andrea personally. But she was kind enough to leave this behind, so I could know what I missed. What we all missed.

Sadly, I have another “blog friend” to add here. Stig was my only non-breast cancer blog friend. I never actually exchanged more than an email or two with him personally, but he moved me just the same. He had lung cancer, disgnosed at age 34, and like Andrea it was he who found me, through this blog. His battle lasted about one year, during which he got married to the girl of his dreams. And she lost him so soon after…Part of the reason I “knew” him less is because he unable to share as consistently as Andrea. It seems every time Stig got some momentum going, he had a medical set back. Once he disappeared for many many months. Finally he came back, only to have to leave for another surgery. That was May or so. I’ve been looking for him (on his blog) every once in a while ever since, as had my sister. Recently, my sis and I had a conversation about Stig and Andrea. I told her about the emotional force that was Andrea; she asked what I thought of Stig’s long silence. We made up a nice story about how he hadn’t posted in ages because his last surgery went so well that he was in full remission and too busy enjoying life with his new wife to bother blogging to us.

Sadly, today I checked again, and this time read over the many comments. Buried in there is a comment left by one of his friends, saying that Stig passed away on June 7th. His blog is left unfinished. Words of hope hanging there, waiting forever to be fulfilled. Another blog friend that will not be forgotten.



Filed under breast cancer

3 responses to “In Memorandum(s)

  1. bigsis

    I present for your consideration: It is proof of our humanity, and the human element in the Internet, that we can cry for someone we never met, and knew only from his blog.

  2. It’s that you should share this so close to All-Saints Day. It’s sad that Halloween has taken over such a powerful day of remembrance. Thanks for the post.

    BTW. It’s great to see you doing so well.

  3. Sue

    I don’t think I have ever posted a comment on your blog, but I do read it, albeit I have been on a blog hiatus. I too find it amazing that we can build the kind of relationship through our computers that we can.

    I just wanted to let you know that you have done these two proud. I will be checking out their blogs.

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