Ghost of Cancer Past

I’m finally back from Britain – husbandless!

Let me back up. I told you we’re moving to the UK, right? Yes, you are correct – we “just” moved to DC. But anyway, long story aside…here we go. And hopefully this will be a move that sticks for a decent number of years.

So off to the UK Del and I went for 2 weeks to see his fam and let him stir the network pot, see what he can dig up career-wise for a few months down the road. While he did that in Birmingham and London, a snapshot of my weeks: rain and a cloud so big that it covers the entire country (I can only imagine the ancient Celts thought it was a sky god); carrying a hot water bottle with me everywhere; hanging with friends Adam, Dan and Anna in London; spending 5 gorgeous hours in the British Museum (Yowza, I love that place!); watching a movie about Nazi snow zombies (Del had the gall to be “disappointed” in the film); a little shopping; a lot of resting; my first visit to an osteopath.

Then, the day before we leave, Del gets a call from a political guy who needs a guy, yada yada yada and Boom! – my honey has a job. Can you believe he pulled that off? (His job in DC was very gracious about his, “Um, I’m not coming back” email, to their great credit.) So I headed home without him. It’s all very fast and he seems to feel guilty about staying behind, but I’m thrilled for him. My main ambivalence about moving is the uncertainty about it all, so if he’s set with a How, When and Where when I get there – awesome. It leaves s bit of limbo for a few months until after the UK election when he can come home and do the move properly, but no sweat.

Where do the Cancer Ghosts come in? Well, see the osteopath visit mentioned above? That’s due to a 6 week old mystery back pain. It came out of nowhere and just got worse from there. After a  visit to my doc and 2 to the osteo, it was recommended I get it checked out. No one is saying it’s cancer, but the fact is I will always have to be wary of mystery pains.

My gut has said all along that it is not related to the Bad Thing, but try hanging onto that confidence once the doctors send you for MRIs and bone scans. It’s not quite so easy. I know it’s not the first time I’ve been through this, and generally I feel fine. I do, however, feel the burden of never being able to just blow these random things off like most 33 year olds, with a groan about ageing and nothing more.  It’s just a reminder that those ghosts will never completely go away.

I’m being squeezed in for tests tomorrow – I’ll let you know what they say.

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1 Comment

Filed under breast cancer

One response to “Ghost of Cancer Past

  1. Praying for clean tests!!

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